I’ve been (given the adventures in consulting) running into this archetype everywhere and finding that person, the Nice White Lady Who Is Never To Be Told She’s Part of Any Problem, to be consistently the biggest challenge. And thinking a lot about why that is. Thanks for helping us all see clearly in this mess!
NWLWINTBTSPOAP here, taking decades to realize that I am not just complicit, I'm a beneficiary of a system I deplore verbally (ethically and emotionally) but have not fought concretely (actively and passionately). No excuses: I have some hypotheses, but they're inchoate and naive; and to the extent that they allow *any* self-exculpation they aren't a useful avenue to pursue. What IS useful is learning how the system works, how I have helped the machine run, and how to begin to do the opposite. So much of what you write here resonates with me. I'm going to subscribe, and buy Brittney Cooper's book and your book, and follow your bibliography to some understanding and some "action items."
Welcome, Gina! Thanks so much for coming through, reading with an open heart, and for subscribing. I so appreciate my fellow raised-white women who have the courage to look honestly at how we show up in the world. It can be scary but it's an important first step. And, there's real joy in community on the other side...I promise!
I truly love your writing and the way you can insert your experience and life into the current political and social landscapes. I’m curious: how has it shaped your identity? The fact that some white women reject what you write, how have you managed that?
Thanks so much, Rob! Good to see you through here and great question(s). I'm not sure how (or if) it's shaped my identity, but I've spent some time with my therapist dealing with the many complicated feelings I had after the book came out. After lots of processing, I've come to understand that the response is less about any of my failures as a writer and more about what is going on with the reader(s), their feelings about what being a woman and raised white, and how attached they are to a particular version of those identities. And, I try to hold on to the positive responses - there have been a ton of those - and the lovely people, like you, who come through and tell me: "I truly love your writing." That helps a great deal. <3
Ah. Got it! I am so glad that you are getting the support you need because I can only imagine how challenging those other comments can be. Your voice is needed and I just love reading your writing. Sending you much love and light!
I’ve been (given the adventures in consulting) running into this archetype everywhere and finding that person, the Nice White Lady Who Is Never To Be Told She’s Part of Any Problem, to be consistently the biggest challenge. And thinking a lot about why that is. Thanks for helping us all see clearly in this mess!
What would that be as an acronym...NWLWINTBTSPOAP? Is that too long to be a hashtag? I'm not sure but maybe we should make it a thing?
NWLWINTBTSPOAP here, taking decades to realize that I am not just complicit, I'm a beneficiary of a system I deplore verbally (ethically and emotionally) but have not fought concretely (actively and passionately). No excuses: I have some hypotheses, but they're inchoate and naive; and to the extent that they allow *any* self-exculpation they aren't a useful avenue to pursue. What IS useful is learning how the system works, how I have helped the machine run, and how to begin to do the opposite. So much of what you write here resonates with me. I'm going to subscribe, and buy Brittney Cooper's book and your book, and follow your bibliography to some understanding and some "action items."
Welcome, Gina! Thanks so much for coming through, reading with an open heart, and for subscribing. I so appreciate my fellow raised-white women who have the courage to look honestly at how we show up in the world. It can be scary but it's an important first step. And, there's real joy in community on the other side...I promise!
I truly love your writing and the way you can insert your experience and life into the current political and social landscapes. I’m curious: how has it shaped your identity? The fact that some white women reject what you write, how have you managed that?
Thanks so much, Rob! Good to see you through here and great question(s). I'm not sure how (or if) it's shaped my identity, but I've spent some time with my therapist dealing with the many complicated feelings I had after the book came out. After lots of processing, I've come to understand that the response is less about any of my failures as a writer and more about what is going on with the reader(s), their feelings about what being a woman and raised white, and how attached they are to a particular version of those identities. And, I try to hold on to the positive responses - there have been a ton of those - and the lovely people, like you, who come through and tell me: "I truly love your writing." That helps a great deal. <3
Ah. Got it! I am so glad that you are getting the support you need because I can only imagine how challenging those other comments can be. Your voice is needed and I just love reading your writing. Sending you much love and light!
Right back atcha! xo
Compelling. Helpful. Your really great essay, and the conversations you are engaging here.